The Train

on the evening the Gulf War started, I was boarding a train to deliver me to my sister, as she was my christmas present. 1 train from Albany. NY to Chicago. Switch to a double decker train and take that into Reno Nv., where my sister would pick me up and drive to tahoe. Simple right? heh. The first half was non-incidental. Out at Chicago and a porter comes to help me with my bags. Now I am pretty excited as the trains main viewing car is mainly sky lights for viewing. Rocky Mountians here we come. The "club" car has a smoking secton, which had 4 diner like tables but like 30 to 40 people in it smoking. The party was in high swing...I was just opening the rest facility door, when the whole car screamed NO! ...... too late It was covered top to bottom with projectile vomit. Some girl got drunk and sick. Her boyfriend went, dejectedly (and drunk too) to lay down in a sleeper. Problem was... he had coach tickets. Nor was he sober enough to realize this or even be understanding, so he was ejected from the train into the hands of the local sherriff. The train begins moving again, when about an hour later, miss projectile vomit sobers up enough to realize her boy friends gone. No we will not got back, no you can not get off. So she finds the emergency handle, pulls it to stop the train and jumps off, running down the track.... I'm coming!! was her drunken cry. Pulling the handle for a non-emergency is a Federal offense. So we had to sit there, until the local sherriff in this town, found her and picked her up. (it was winter time) also to note when the handle was pulled it caused some wires to become messed up somehow... and after running for 1 or 2 hours, the train would just turn off. The circut breaker would trip or something of that nature, causing us to move in jerks and spasms.

Now after all this excitement, a girl from NC asks if I have rolling papers, which I did, so we went down 2 cars to the womens bathroom to roll the joint and blow it out the toilet (it dumps @ speed on the tracks. ewwww.) needless to say she had some excellent pot, and we got stoned in the bathroom. There was suddenly this moment where I though she was going to kiss me, and the whole word seemed still... let me tell you I was excited, when suddenly the train stopped. We hear doors open and two men whom identify themselves as FBI enter the train. We both assume it is because the conductor smelled marijuana, but to our sorprise no (the conductor was a she, and thought we were doin the nasty, so she let us be.... ) As we enter the top of the car again, everyone is on the left side of the train cramming the windows to see. As we looked out we saw a passenger, the two agents and a conductor. They pulled out a suitcase, opened it up, to find it filled with weapons. all stolen. bye bye to that passenger, he was cuffed and stuffed. and the train slowly moves through the night. When we arrived in reno we were 36 hours late. My sister knowing my life and luck knew there was a story behind. May God bless the girl who got me high....